I have a pretty extensive library of Bible related books and cultural studies in my home library. I randomly pull one off the shelf just now, open it and see the telltale florescent yellow across the pages, indicating I've been here before.

My face flushes hot, accompanied by that familiar chest tightening. "How can I not remember any of this?" I accuse my younger self. “What’s the point of reading anything new?” I taunt my future self.

I glimpse this library of mine before me, (I surely cannot dare to look full on) a testament to my failure to recall content of what I've spent so much of my life devouring.

Hands to my face, I bemoan my lack of brain prowess to call up all the important things revealed to me through the written word. Me, privileged with extensive wisdom in these books, and the space to store up these great ideas.

“I share what I can with others” I reassure my present self. But that’s the problem, really. I want so badly to share this wisdom with you, with anyone who may not have the wealth of this reference center, who may not, for any reason, have the kind of access to scholarship that I do.

How can this library represent my failures? Is this really true?

My countenance perks up and I notice the untightening of my chest, my face cools, and I feel an openness and lightness of being.  A timeless and familiar Voice from deep within reveals truth. With each book, article, research piece, I have laid hold of just what God wanted me to have, pulled in to the depths of my being.  Each book I now unashamedly gaze upon represents another step on my lifelong journey to better experience God in my life; each printed work propels me to yearn further in connection with God, self, and others.  

That’s why I absorb myself with these writings, and why I store them up. This way, it does not have to be about remembering the text, the mere information. Who, really, can remember all of it anyway? Most of our brains are not designed to do so, the vast amount of information put out is more than any of us can call to mind. No, instead, it’s about what I do with the information.

Each book represents me nurturing a connection with God, self, and others.  What really counts is laying hold of the truths that this book or that says about the faithfulness of God, how He met the needs of those in the Bible stories, how He’ll meet mine, too.  Or how capable God is to save me from that which harms me, whether coming from my own poor choices, or those thrust on me by others. Or the absolute goodness of God, despite how others have treated me in the past.

Can I recollect everything I read? No. But today I realize I’m less interested in sharing remembered facts with you than I am in remembering and sharing with you how amazing God is, how He is worth the fight of trying to figure out the Bible amidst so many interpretations.

Everything positive in your life starts with what you truly think of God, how well you know Him, and not just know about Him. How sure you are that He is “bigger, stronger, wiser, kinder” than anyone or anything you would try to get your value and worth from. Today, this library of mine is a signpost to me that God is worth getting to know.

Be blessed, 

Gail